Twenty One Reasons
by Acelinn
Summary: Lily Evans writes a certain list, which, to her shock and horror, is then found by the bane of her existence, James Potter.


_This is the first story I have ever written for FFN. I hope you enjoy it! The full title is **21 Reasons Why Lily Evans Will Not Go Out With James Potter**._

_**Summary:**__ Lily Evans writes a certain list, which, to her shock and horror, is then found by the bane of her existence, James Potter._

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, settings, or basically anything you recognise. Get over it._

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_21 Reasons Why Lily Evans Will Not Go Out With James Potter_

Dear Diary,

This is one of the most bizarre days of my life. Like a mixed pot. You know, that Muggle expression. I suppose the magical equivalent would be 'mixed cauldron', but somehow I don't think it has the same ring. I like to stay true to my Muggle heritage.

The day started in double History of Magic, which is not good.

Unfortunately, it then got _worse_.

But it starts in History of Magic, so it is there that I will begin in this entry.

I wasn't paying much attention. And don't look at me like that. I was bored. That's right. Even Lily Evans, the esteemed Head Girl, can get bored in a class.

But in my defence, I learnt about Rebellions in Fifth Year. So technically, I wasn't even missing out on any important information.

So while Binns was droning on and on...and on and on about the Elfin Restrictions of 1491 and the Rebellion led by Lady Alya, starting the Elvin Feminist Movement of the early sixteenth century (I did my homework!), I looked over to the other side of the classroom where the Marauders sit.

As usual, they weren't listening. I leant over to tell them off, but it suddenly struck me that I was doing the exact same thing. And I hate to be called a hypocrite.

In fact, no one was listening.

James Potter and Remus Lupin were bent over a ratty old bit of parchment, pointing and laughing silently. Peter Pettigrew was asleep, and Sirius Black was constantly poking him, while occasionally looking at the ratty bit of parchment with the other two.

I'll admit I was slightly curious. But I couldn't look because it was too far away, and even Binns (the old coot) notices if you leave your seat. So I decided to make a list to pass the time.

A few minutes ago, I'd have told you that it was one of the stupidest decisions of my life.

Now, however...

Well, I'm rather applauding my ingenuity at the moment. Of course, I knew the outcome would be so glorious.

Ugh. But now I sound as arrogant as Potter, even if it was sarcasm.

I've included the list for safekeeping. I'd hate to lose it. Again.

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_**21 Reasons Why Lily Evans Will Not Go Out With James Potter.**_

_(With a bit of added commentary, because I know you're all interested)._

**1.** His hair is always messy, and then he messes it up more. _(It's annoying! He thinks the girls love it…yeah, right. Right?)_

**2.** He asks me out every single day. _(For all the wrong reasons, I might add. I will not be another trophy.)_

**3.** He shows off with that ridiculous snitch – which he stole. _(Another annoying, dumb thing to do – I just think he's an egotistical show-off.)_

**4.** Eats like there's no tomorrow. _(It's disgusting.)_

**5.** He taunts and hexes younger students. _(For a reason like being in the wrong place at the wrong time.)_

**6.** He acts like a childish, immature prat. _(For which I will __never __go out with him.)_

**7.** He was not a Prefect. _(YET HE GOT HEAD BOY! How is that fair? I worked for my badge – he acted like an idiot.)_

**8.** He pranked me through first year. _(Bloody wanker. I still have a purple spot on my arm from when they made me permanently polka-dotted.)_

**9.** He attacks Severus Snape for no reason. _(Which is utterly unfair – because it's four against one!)_

**10.** He never listens in class and always gets top marks. _(I have to work for marks! He just gets them! How is that fair?)_

**11.** He's better than me at Transfiguration. (_That immature prat cannot be better than me!)_

**12.** He has an inflated head. _(Who could possibly go out with someone who seriously thinks that they're God's gift to humankind?)_

**13.** He is a Marauder. _(And as I am Head Girl, it would be insupportable. McGonagall would throw a fit.)_

**14.** He acts mature around me, and then hexes Snape when I turn my back. _(Which shows and even greater level of immaturity and unreliability.)_

**15.** He lies and skives off patrol duty. _(Regularly. I had to handle thirteen Slytherins by myself last time!)_

**16.** He won't help other students. _(Just hex them when they talk to him.)_

**17.**His friends are insufferable. _(And I hate them.)_

**18.** He'll probably cheat on me. (_As Black would, and friends like them are alike.)_

**19.** He only wants me so he can say it to the world. _(In which case I am determined not to let him have me.)_

**20.** I've spent so long telling everyone that I could never date him. _(Imagine the name-calling if I decided to go out with him)._

**21.** Voldemort is rising. I don't think I could ever handle losing him.

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Just as I wrote those last words, the bell rang loudly and obnoxiously, cutting into my contemplation.

And with that, I packed up all my books, hurriedly stuffing the list into my bag. My cheeks were growing steadily redder and redder as I realised what I had written for number 21. It was insupportable. Not only that, but nothing would _ever happen_. I resolved to change it as soon as lunch was over.

However, I did not account for the fact that it might _possibly _slip out of my bag as I ran out of the classroom. And you'll never guess who picked it up. Or perhaps you will.

James. James Potter. _Potter_, the subject of my list, was then in possession of my list.

When I returned to my dormitory after lunch I searched for it in order to change that last one, the ramblings of my confused mind – to find nothing.

I could only assume the worst, and therefore refused to step out of the dormitory. But then, at around the same time as dinner started, there was a knock on the door.

I opened it, expecting a friend, but the sight that met my eyes was not a welcome one. James Potter was standing in front of me, a tray of food in one hand and a piece of parchment in the other.

My list.

I turned red all over again, snatched it from him, screamed at him to never again invade my privacy, and slammed the door in his face. I scanned the list, noting with increasing dread that it was not as I had written it.

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_**21 Reasons Why Lily Evans Will Not Go Out With James Potter.**_

_(With a bit of added commentary, because I know you're all interested)._

**(And more added commentary. Sorry, Lily.)**

**1.** His hair is always messy, and then he messes it up more. _(It's annoying! He thinks the girls love it…yeah, right. Right?)_

**Lily, that's a Potter trait. Every one of us has messy hair – just look at my Dad. And I only mess mine up more when I'm nervous. Like when I'm around you. Go figure.**

**2.** He asks me out every single day. _(For all the wrong reasons, I might add. I will not be another trophy.)_

**In case you haven't noticed, I've stopped that recently. You need your space, and I respect that, but I still like you. And how do you know my reasons? Gossip and rumours aren't always correct.**

**3.** He shows off with that ridiculous snitch – which he stole. _(Another annoying, dumb thing to do – I just think he's an egotistical show-off.)_

**I did that in sixth year. I put it back the very next week.**

**4.** Eats like there's no tomorrow. _(It's disgusting.)_

**Why is this on the list? My eating habits shouldn't bother you – I'm a growing boy, I need my food.**

**5.** He taunts and hexes younger students. _(For a reason like being in the wrong place at the wrong time.)_

**When I was younger. We have stopped that now. I thought you knew.**

**6.** He acts like a childish, immature prat. _(For which I will __never __go out with him.)_

**I'm really trying, Lily. I'm trying to get better! I thought I'd improved over the holidays.**

**7.** He was not a Prefect. _(YET HE GOT HEAD BOY! How is that fair? I worked for my badge – he acted like an idiot.)_

**I can't tell the particulars, but I did save a student's life. And I have been trying to change! Even Dumbledore noticed! He gave me a chance.**

**8.** He pranked me through first year. _(Bloody wanker. I still have a purple spot on my arm from when they made me permanently polka-dotted.)_

**First year Lily! We stopped that too, and I apologised to you. For which you slapped me. But I really was sorry! And all you have to say is 'Go away, purple polka-dot!' really loud in the middle of the Great Hall. It was Sirius' contribution.**

**9.** He attacks Severus Snape for no reason. _(Which is utterly unfair – because it's four against one!)_

**Believe me, there is always a reason. And even that has been toned down recently.**

**10.** He never listens in class and always gets top marks. _(I have to work for marks! He just gets them! How is that fair?)_

**I do study, Lily! We all do! We actually do compete our homework mostly – and pass exams! **

**11.** He's better than me at Transfiguration. (_That immature prat cannot be better than me!)_

**You're jealous? Lily, that's insane. You beat me in every other class! And I'm only one spot ahead in Transfig.! You're the smartest in the class!**

**12.** He has an inflated head. _(Who could possibly go out with someone who seriously thinks that they're God's gift to humankind?)_

**You seriously think that I think that I'm God's gift to humankind? I'm not perfect Lily. No one is. And besides, perfection is a flaw. But on the whole, I do sincerely hope my head is deflating if it means I have a chance with you.**

**13.** He is a Marauder. _(And as I am Head Girl, it would be insupportable. McGonagall would throw a fit.)_

**Please don't hold that against me! I could not give up the Marauders – they are my friends! And we do not play dangerous pranks… you have to admit, you laughed. And I am Head Boy too.**

**14.** He acts mature around me, and then hexes Snape when I turn my back. _(Which shows and even greater level of immaturity and unreliability.)_

**Because Snape turned Peter into a toy doll. I was defending someone who at that time was unable to defend himself. **

**15.** He lies and skives off patrol duty. _(Regularly. I had to handle thirteen Slytherins by myself last time!)_

**I'm sorry Lily, but my reasons I can never say. Please forgive me, and understand, I'm doing it for someone else who needs my help.**

**16.** He won't help other students. _(Just hex them when they talk to him.)_

**What are my friends? Ducks? But I do try to help other people in their Transfiguration, if they ask it. I don't hex people because they talk to me!**

**17.**His friends are insufferable. _(And I hate them.)_

**You don't know them like I do. They are loyal, brave, would do anything for a friend, and have a good sense of fun and humour. Maybe you should try to get to know them better.**

**18.** He'll probably cheat on me. (_As Black would, and friends like them are alike.)_

**You don't know Sirius. You don't know whether I'm like him or not. But I would NEVER EVER do that. Lily, I love you! I would never cheat on you! **

**19.** He only wants me so he can say it to the world. _(In which case I am determined not to let him have me.)_

**Yeah, right. I want you to be my girlfriend because I like, even love you, everything about you, and because you make me happy and complete!**

**20.** I've spent so long telling everyone that I could never date him. _(Imagine the name-calling if I decided to go out with him)._

**Maybe it's time to swallow your pride and forget about what they say. I never pictured you as someone who'd conform to what other people think. Why would it matter?**

**21.** Voldemort is rising. I don't think I could ever handle losing him.

**You won't lose me, Lily. I promise you. Never.**

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I read his additions and turned pale. I could feel the blood draining out of my face. His words sounded so genuine though, so real. I blushed. I could almost see him there, a hallucination in the dorm.

My thoughts were spinning around my head, barely giving me enough time to register them before they flitted away into nothingness.

I couldn't breathe, I couldn't concentrate on anything but his features, his expression.

"You, Miss Lily Evans, are in love with James Potter."

The voice broke through my stupor.

I opened my mouth to defend myself, when a number of thoughts struck me. Slowly, the daunting truth dawned. I did like him. A lot.

I shook. Then burst into tears, deciding that this was by far the worst day of my entire existence.

Hours later, as I walked through the doors to the Great Hall, I immediately spotted James and his friends. There was a tense silence as our eyes met and held.

However, the rest of the dinner passed in peace. I couldn't eat. I sat there until everyone had left the Great Hall. Remus, Sirius and Peter all left as the last few students exited, sensing that James and I needed to talk.

As soon as the Hall was empty, I said, "James, I'm sorry I screamed at you earlier."

He looked surprised. "But I had no right to read your list."

"You did," I admitted sadly. "It was about you. You had every right." Then I paused, racking up every ounce of my Gryffindor courage. "And I'm glad you did."

James started. He looked over at me, but I had been reduced to staring at my hands, currently coloured a delicate shade of pink. He then gripped my chin, and drew my face to look at his. "What?" he asked.

"I do like you, James," I said at last. "I never knew, but I do."

He stared at me, and our eyes were locked in place. I couldn't move, couldn't feel anything but his hand on my chin. He leant in the slightest bit, before hesitating, silently asking with his eyes if it was okay to do what he was about to. Almost without knowing it, I gave him the smallest smile of reassurance, and he closed the distance between us, and our lips met.

I was overwhelmed. It was euphoria. It was absolute bliss.

...It lasted about five seconds before the remaining three Marauders interrupted us.

They were standing in the hall, cheering and whistling, and Sirius was even letting off a few sparks and bangs from his wand. Despite my high colouring (again) we laughed, but I soon turned to James, whipping my list out from out of my pocket.

"Did you mean this?" I asked. "Is it all true?"

He nodded, an expression of love in his eyes. I smiled, then climbed on to one of the tables and shouted: "Go away, purple polka-dot!"

The Marauders laughed, James most of all. I grinned, before he took my hand and we ran out of the Great Hall.

I don't feel the need to change my list anymore, nor to complete it.

In fact, I think I'll keep it.

Maybe one day my children will find it and laugh once more over the absurdities of my seventeen-year-old mind.

On a dark and cloudy evening, many years later, a boy of seventeen wandered among the boxes of a destroyed house, until he came to one labelled: 'Lily's Things'. He opened it, and there, sitting on the very top was a list, entitled:

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_**21 Reasons Why Lily Evans Will Not Go Out With James Potter.**_

_(With a bit of added commentary, because I know you're all interested)._

**(And more added commentary. Sorry, Lily.)**

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Smiling slightly, the boy sat down to read, revelling in his chance to discover his mother, even through a list.

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_Well? Please review._

_Acelinn._


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